It's been a Summer...

Wow. I'm rude. I left this completely alone for the entirety of what was summer '09. I guess I'm back because I can't sleep, and this is usually how my blog entries come about. Let's see, first we'll get caught up. After a long and difficult summer, Matt and I finally moved back to Austin into our apartment. I'm on the couch at 12:30 in the morning because I can't sleep, and that's mainly because I'm having doubts.

Matt and I lived together all summer with my parents, and now we're living together alone (haha, oxymoron). He's usually there when I wake up (he's never able to sleep in, I've never seen him in bed past 10am) and he's there when I fall asleep. If I want to spend money, I check with him because we have a joint budget. We do everything (including fight) like a married couple. Which leads me to the question: why get married at all? Deep down I feel like I only want to get married because I want a wedding; it's what I'm "supposed" to want. But we already live like a married couple. I treat him like I would my husband. Plus if we don't get married, I'll stay on my mom's health insurance until I'm 26. As I'm growing up, I'm realizing that almost free health care is major perk. I mean, if we're already living like husband and wife, why spend thousand of dollars on a party to make it socially official? He's putting so much pressure on himself because he wants to buy me a ring he thinks I deserve, but he doesn't think anything he can actually afford is good enough(sweet, ain't it?). I don't want him stressing out over a piece of metal and stone. I'd be happy with a string tied around my finger, but he thinks he has to buy a huge shiny rock. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I watch "say yes to the dress" every friday, I don't really like the pressure society still puts on couples to get married. I think it might be too much stress for us. :(

"Can you feel it surround me? I think it'll drown me..."

- Think Long, Mates of State